Sapphire Romance Realm: Still alive and fighting

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Still alive and fighting

3:01 AM |

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Hey everyone I'm sorry that I have been missing in action for so long. I have had to take a break from my blog and several other things for the last few months. I have been battling a very bad bout of depression and anxiety. I have had issues with both pretty much all my life off and on but while I was on an antidepressant for the last few years I had been doing pretty good even through some of the very hardest times in my life like the death of my mother several years ago. But several months ago without asking me anything about it the pharmacy switched the Paxil CR that I was taking out with the new generic form of it Paxil ER. Now I did ask about this at the time but I was assured that it was the exact same active ingredients and that it should be fine. Well I thought everything was fine at first I didn't really feel any different and it was a lot cheaper 10 dollars verses 60 for the brand name with my insurance so I decided to keep taking it. Well I was fine until back in late Oct. when I found a lump in my breast. That worried me greatly as breast cancer runs in my family really badly. So I went to the doctor and they scheduled me to have an ultrasound and mammogram. But the waiting for it was very stressful for me and I started feeling very anxious and nervous all the time however I thought it was just because of the lump and it was normal and that it would go away if everything turned out fine.

Well after the mammogram they said they didn't think it was anything to worry about and I was so relieved about that! And I thought I would get to feeling back to normal in a few days! I was happy about it being nothing to worry about in my breast so I didn't understand why in a few days I was feeling much worse instead of better. I was still depressed and the anxiety was still there and worse than it was before. I got to thinking maybe it was the generic Paxil ER wasn't working like it should. So I called the pharmacy after talking to the pharmacist and asking several questions he said that it could be the difference in the inactive ingredients in the generic and the way that the medicine was pressed together when they were making it that might cause it not to release the same way in the system as the brand name. But he also said that they couldn't even get the brand name Paxil CR anymore from their distributor. After calling another pharmacy and hearing the same thing from them I got discouraged and gave up thinking that if two of the biggest and most popular pharmacies in town couldn't get it then none of them would be able to. And I know you are probably thinking ok why didn't you go to the doctor. Well I would have accept my doctor is actually out on maternity leave since November and I didn't want to go to see someone else who knew nothing about my history etc. and to try to see if I could tough it out and if it would get better on it's own just taking the generic a while longer. But it didn't and I continued to get worse despite everything that I tired. So about three weeks ago I decided to give it one more try because I was still suffering very badly with depression and so nervous I couldn't stand myself hardly so I called Walmart pharmacy and they said they could get the brand name Paxil CR for me, they would just have to order it! So I asked them to please order it and they called my insurance and told them that the generic wasn't working for me and that I needed the brand name and were (thank the good Lord) able to get it for me. So I've been taking the Paxil CR for about three weeks now and I'm still having problems big time and side effects like I just started taking a new medication almost, but I know that antidepressants have to build up in your system before they start working and it says that you should see results within 4-8 weeks after starting the medicine. So I'm praying fervently that in the next week or so that I will start to feel much, much better. If the generic wasn't working for me at all I guess it is like I was actually not taking anything hardly for months and I didn't even know it. So maybe it is like I am just starting to take Paxil CR again to my system anyway.

It has been a very difficult time for me and my family. But God has gotten us through so much already and I know that he will bring us safely through this as well soon! I can not thank my husband Scott and Stephen and all my friends enough for all of the support that they have given me during this trying time. I will get better because I have so many good things to live and fight for! I would like to ask that you please keep me in your prayers if you would that I will get well and over this soon.

I just wanted everyone to know what happened to me and why I just suddenly dropped off the map like I did. I debated about posting anything about this at all, but then I thought that there is a possibility that others might be helped by knowing what happened to me and avoid the generic antidepressants that are control released because they do not work the same as the brand name ones and you don't want to have a relapse like I did. If I can help one person by posting about this then it will be worth it. And at the risk of sounding like a commercial I am going to say that Depression is not just being blue and feeling down it is a very debilitating and horrible illness and should never be taken lightly. It can be accompanied by severe anxiety and other symptoms that you wouldn't think of as being depression maybe at first. So if you or someone you know has depression or you think they might - do go (or have them go) see your doctor and get help. There is light at the end of the tunnel and life is too short to waste it feeling bad. :)

I will try to post more very soon. God willing this medicine will kick in and I will be back to normal soon and then I can get back to reviewing and blogging about books and the romance and the authors that we all love so dearly! God bless you all and Big Hugs!

Labels: Antidepressants, Anxiety, Depression, Generics

9 comments:

Michelle @ The True Book Addict said...: So sorry to hear of your troubles. I hope you are feeling better very soon. Your loyal followers are still with you. =O); January 22, 2011 3:47 AM
Patti (Book Addict) said...: I'm sorry things have been difficult for you but happy your lump was nothing to worry about. If your story helps one person out there then it was worth posting - depression is much more serious than people tend to realize.

I'll keep you in my prayers, take as much time as you need and then come back to doing what you love.; January 22, 2011 11:36 AM
Maria Behar said...: Oh, Jenny! I'm so sorry to hear that you've been having such a bad time! Although I'm one of your newest followers, I did wonder about the lapse in posting, but just figured you were busy on personal business. Little did i know....

I really hope the medicine now works for you like it did before! You deserve to be happy, and full of energy, so that you can enjoy life, as well as continue to bring us this wonderful, BEAUTIFUL blog!

I'll be praying for you! I know what it's like to be depressed. I was on Prozac several years ago, when I went through a very rough patch in my life.

Hang in there, hon!! We're all rooting for you!!! : ); January 22, 2011 12:34 PM
librarypat said...: Take good care of yourself. Generics are a good option some of the times, but they don't always work. I had switched to a generic version of Pepcid AC and it made me sick every time I took it. I checked the box and it is made in India. Your medications are much more important and as you discovered any variation can drastically change the results.
For those people who have not had problems or had relatives with problems with depression it is often hard to fully appreciate how debilitating it can be. Hopefully it won't take much longer for the medication to adjust in you system and set things to rights.
Now that you know what the cause of the problem was, you will be able to make sure it doesn't happen again. Hang in there.; January 22, 2011 11:08 PM
JennJ said...: Hi Michelle! Thank you so much dear I appreciate it! And I thank you and all of my other loyal followers for hanging in there with me while I'm getting better. BIG HUGS!
____________________

Hi Patti!

Thank you so much for your prayers I appreciate them more than I can say. I was very glad that the lump was nothing as well! And yes depression is a terrible illness that is very serious and can totally turn your life upside down and a lot of people have no idea how much so. I pray that my post will be able to help some others and like you said if it helps even one person then it was well worth it! :) I hope to be back reading, reviewing, interviewing and blogging again very soon! Thanks so much again. Big Hugs!

_________________

Hi Maria!

Thank you so much for your prayers and support I can’t tell you how much they mean to me. I pray that the medicine will kick in and get me well again soon too. And I hope that you never have to go through depression again as well. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone it is horrible. God bless you and thanks again for your support hon! BIG HUGS!

____________________

Hi librarypat!

Thank you so much dear for your encouragement and kind words. I appreciate them so much. I am trying my best and I will continue to hang in there and fight and I will win! With God’s help and my family’s support I will beat this!  Yes you are so right! A person’s medications are extremely important to their health! And generics sometimes are fine but sometimes they are nothing at all like the brand name even though they try to say that they are - there is definitely a difference in some of them. And these differences can be very harmful to some people. This is one area that they need to have many more tests and regulations put on before they release the generic drugs to the public! And they should NOT be able to switch a medicine that you have been taking successfully for years without your permission. They should also at the very least have to warn people that some people can be sensitive to the differences in the generic version of the medicine and that they could make them sick or have a relapse of their illness. And Yes you are very right unless someone has had depression themselves or been very close to someone that has gone through it there is absolutely no way to explain how very debilitating a disease it truly can be. I am for sure from now on not going to allow them to change any of my medications that have been working for any kind of generics. I’ll stick to generics only in things like ibuprophen and benedryl. Thanks again dear! BIG HUGS

____________________; January 24, 2011 12:34 AM
Amy said...: I'm a little bit late in catching up, but was so glad to get some word of what's going with you. I just wish it were better "word", y'know? Thoughts and prayers for everything you're going through!; January 24, 2011 5:37 PM
Maria Behar said...: I would like to add that you are a beautiful person! I can see that from your reply to my comments, for which you are most welcome!!!

Be well VERY, VERY soon, and....
BIG HUGS RIGHT BACK AT YOU!!!! =D; January 25, 2011 10:32 PM
Amy C said...: I hope you start feeling better soon, Jenn. I was thinking about you the other day, thinking how pleased I still am with my banner and avatar for my blog :).; January 27, 2011 8:04 AM
JennJ said...: Hi Amy! I'm so glad you stopped by its great to see you hon. Thank you so much for the thoughts and prayers I appreciate them more than I can say. I'm still hanging in there starting to see a little improvement and hope to be back to my old self very very soon! BIG HUGS!!!!!!!
_______________________

Hi Maria! Awww God bless you for that you are too sweet. Thank you so much and I hope to be well and back to blogging more regularly very soon! BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!
________________________

Hi Amy C! Good to see you hon! Thank you dear I appreciate it. And thanks for thinking of me! :) I'm so glad that you still like your banner and avatar it was fun working with you on those. BIG HUGS and have a great one!!!!!!!!; January 29, 2011 10:23 AM

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